I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
