she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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