4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
