CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
