I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
