Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize