Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
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