I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
