May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
