If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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