Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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