You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
