So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
