Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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