im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize