Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
His hands were made for my vagina.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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