he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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