I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
