Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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