So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Enjoy the penises
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
