So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize