She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
