I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize