But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
