Only a mothe r could love this liver
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dignity is for republicans.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
