I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
