No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
