Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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