do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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