So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I checked into jail on foursquare
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
