just come out here and I will go home with you...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
