i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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