Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
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