Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize