I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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