so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
