i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
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