I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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