I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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