so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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