omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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