the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
