So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
