Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
