in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
