So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
