U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
