Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
