I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
