One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
