The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
