The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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