why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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