last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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