there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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