I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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