shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
