you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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