she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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