My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
