She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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