You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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